Log in

No account? Create an account
About this Journal
Current Month
Jul. 18th, 2006 @ 11:08 am Lady in the Water, explained...
M. Night Shamaylan was interviewed on Howard Stern this morning and said that LADY IN THE WATER is based on a bedtime story he used to tell his kids.
So basically, the movie is his SHARKBOY & LAVA GIRL.

...And it's not that no one pulled him aside and said, "Dude, this movie is retarded." Disney did, so he took it to Warner Bros.
About this Entry
Jul. 2nd, 2005 @ 03:40 pm Warning: See WAR OF THE WORLDS first...
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
Like VANILLA SKY and MINORITY REPORT before it, I like WAR OF THE WORLDS less and less everyday I think back to it.
Seems like no matter how broad or even global the scope of a movie's concept is, it ends up with just a narrow focus around Tom Cruise (see MISSION IMPOSSIBLE also). There's never the feeling that anything more than New England is being attacked by aliens...with strict orders to NOT shoot Tom Cruise.
I didn't mind the film so much as I was watching it, but by the end it left me feeling unsatisfied and with too many questions.
WHAT constitutes him as an absentee/ deadbeat dad? He isn't shown to be womanizer; have a drinking/gambling problem;devoted to his "art" or career. If he'd been abusive he wouldn't have had custody at all. Outside of his job he doesn't seem to have shit else going on. His (apparently retarded) kids are fanatical in their distance from him, yet there is nothing to support that other than the fact that he's poor and their stepdad isn't. I'm sorry, I thought those kids were assholes...yes, both of them. But I never warmed up to Cruise's character either.
WHY is he the only guy in Joisey without a cartoonish accent?
WHAT'S the deal with people from New Jersey? The ground crumbles beneath their feet and yet they only take two steps back at a time. Granted they've never been invaded by underground aliens before, but surely they're familiar with the concept of EARTHQUAKES. Does it really take half of the crowd getting phasered for them to start running?
You'll notice there are no black people in that scene.
HOW is it the alien's death machines were buried in the earth for a million years and we never came across one of them ever?
WHY did they wait so long to attack?
do they kill some people and turn others into Twizzlers? I know, I know, none of that was revealed in the original story but this new movie adds the concept of the aliens planting devices long before man even existed. Once such extreme premeditation is introduced it demands that a motive be explained. You can't have it both ways.
HOW MUCH more money (time? concepts artists?) did Spielberg need to create a movie that doesn't remind us so much of SIGNS, INDEPENDENCE DAY, JURASSIC PARK, CLOSE ENCOUNTERS, DAWN OF THE DEAD, Half-Life2(!!!) etc.??? It isn't like Quentin Tarantino where all the references are acknowledged and tweaked. WAR OF THE WORLDS doesn't do anything new or better with what it rips-off. You gotta admit, the aliens in INDEPENDENCE DAY looked better and I hate to give that movie credit for anything!
WHY wasn't the entire Tim Robbins scene left on the cutting room floor. Nothing against Robbins, but for all the depth that entire sequence seemed to portend (paranoia, the break down of society, whatever) all it really yielded was a JURASSIC PARK rip-off tense moment. Imagine the movie without that part and it still works, which means it shouldn't be in there.
WHAT is with the son being so hell-bent on fighting with the army against all common sense, abandoning the sister with the dad they 'hate' so much? It was like the actor had a family emergency and couldn't finishing filming so they wrote him out of the movie. Good riddance.
However, having him alive at the end of the movie (did you notice the SIZE of the fireball that came up over the hill he went down?) is the penultimate death knell of the whole picture. That and the grandparents wearing cardigan sweaters at the end. Come on!!
WHO greenlighted Morgan Freeman reprising his role from BRUCE ALMIGHTY as the voice of God? It was great for the opening but at the closing it was WAY too little, too late and just punctuated everything that was wrong. Makes you feel stupid about the parts you did enjoy.

"...And Tom Cruise, if you want to squelch the gay rumors, don't allow yourself to get sucked up into an evil alien sphincter anymore."
   - Johnny Neill
About this Entry
May. 16th, 2005 @ 11:06 pm Hercules: The TV- Movie
Hercules - A very twisted and molted version of the story about the Greek superhero. Paul Telfer makes a good attempt to play this hero. Sean Astin rehashes his Sam Gamgee image by playing Lupin, a thrown in character to make the whole thing a buddy-movie picture. I almost expected his to say at one point "We're in a bad situation Mr. Frodo, uh I mean Hercules. An unexpected good performance comes from Timothy Dalton (one of the lesser James Bonds) as Hercules's father. Herucles's love interest looks like Paris Hilton, something which just turned me off right away. Unfourtunetly someone has twisted and molted the original story into somewhat of a murky and sometimes incomprehensible story. The special effects don't help either. While the Hydra scene does the original story justice, the Nemean Lion and Harpies are just....well lame. I believe the creatures and effects from Power Rangers flashed across my mind at least twice. And the Golden Hind felt rushed and very computer generated. And they took out Cerberus! One of my favorite parts of what was originally a very cool story. The movie can't decide whether it's Greek, Roman, or American. And it almost ruined the origianl sotry; a classic epic. Don't bother looking for this one on the direct to DVD. - C
About this Entry
mr. turtle
May. 8th, 2005 @ 09:27 pm movie reviews : Sideways and Something the Lord Made
Sideways - Whose idea was it to write this off as a comedy? It's more of an adventure/drama. Two middle-aged men, one (Miles Raymond) still recovering two years after a divorce, the other (Thomas Haden Church) about to be married, go on a trip to wine county. This has some excellent acting and character developement. I both hated and empathized with the characters at alternate points, but never cried or felt inclined to do so. Unfortunetly most of the middle of the movie was boring, depressing and self-indulgent for what amounted to two men having mid-life crisises with wine thrown in mostly as a gimmick to hold the entire thing together. There was so much attention spared on what amounted to down-time in the movie. There were only two genuine laughs. I know I went into this expecting a comedy, but when i put aside those expectations, the movie was still dull until the last half-hour. Even dramas need to have some pace. - C+

Something the Lord Made - The historical relationship of the first two heart surgeons Alfred Blalock (Alan Rickman) and Vivien Thomas (Mos Def). What a powerful and awesome movie. The acting is superb. Alan Rickman was wonderful as always, and brought a realness but still quite human and likable quality to Alfred Blalock. Mos Def continues to defie the idea that rappers are bad actors with his wonderful performance. The story is very good (you can't make this sort of thing up) and stays believable and is well-told. It deals with the ins-and-outs of racism interfering on the relationships of the two doctors, rather than smothering the story entirely. I have found another historical drama that I truly love - A
About this Entry
mr. turtle
May. 6th, 2005 @ 03:12 pm Batman Begins
Current Mood: Gay Porn
Current Music: Gay Porn
So again I read another synopsis on the upcoming release of Batman Begins and being a fan of the past episodes, this one leaves me a bit discouraged. I mean they are starting over??.. revisiting the very beginning of Batman? Weird.. I don't know much about the movie but I did catch a glimpse of some of the toys and there was a figure for the Scarecrow.. will he be the new villain?

oh and I hear rumor that the next Batman will be that of.. gay porn!
About this Entry
May. 6th, 2005 @ 04:43 am (no subject)
i heart gay porn. sean cody. i like more amateur stuff tho amateur is great cuz they have somthing about them that u can relate to!
About this Entry
May. 3rd, 2005 @ 08:09 am (no subject)
Current Mood: happyhappy
I now have my own copy of The Phantom of the Opera, i am now a very happy girl. it also came with my very own copy of the book as well, which i was also planning on getting, the book and the movie were only $20. SWEET!!!!
About this Entry
Apr. 29th, 2005 @ 10:01 pm The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy review
The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy - The Earth get destroyed to make room for an interstellar freeway, and two beings are the only ones to escape it's blast, Earthling Arthur Dent (Martin Freeman) and the Betelguisen Ford Prefect (Mos Def) They become tag-along partners to part-time president of the galaxy and full time git Zaphod Beeblebox (Owen Wilson look-a-like and Dubya sound-a-like Sam Rockwell) with the love interest Trillian (Zooey Deschanel) and my personal favorite character Marvin the Suicidally Depressed Robot (acted by Warwick Davis and voiced by Alan Rickman). They get into all sorts of hijinx and stuff. I dunno. It's terribly dificult to explain, and you wouldn't understand most of it if I told you. But that's not the point. The point is, this is a very funny movie. While not all the jokes (like say 98%) are gold, it's still quite funny. Even the protagonists getting slapped in the face for a minute is funny. It just works, like when Sideshow Bob on the Simpsons was smacked in the face by rakes over and over worked. A couple of mice being trying to perform a lobotomy on someone just works. It's all very funny. The movie is light hearted, and despite a galaxy of terribly cold people (Vogons whose poetry is worse then Jewel's, Huma Kavula...) it manages to still have a heart. You (well I did) genuinely feel sorry for Marvin after awhile for his horrible life. The special effects are quite good. I particurally liked how the Improbability Drive was used to cause all sorts of fun. It's a very funny movie. Don't listen to what the PAID critics say. They thought Pirates of the Caribean was ho hum too, remember?
About this Entry
mr. turtle
Apr. 28th, 2005 @ 11:22 am (no subject)
Does anyone else ever get tired of hearing the statement, "The book was better than the movie?" I, for one, get really irritated by that "opinion." Personally, I'm a book lover at heart and believe that absolutely every story is better as a book than a movie, but let's put that bias aside for a moment. I enjoy seeing film adaptations of books I like, and I'm a huge movie fan, but it's absolutely asinine and shallow to say that "the book was better than the movie." The book will always "be better" for several reasons. Primarily, if you read the book first, it's the medium through which you became attached to the story, so it has a sentimental value. Furthermore, the written word allows the reader to have more imagination; you connect with the author on a personal level and are permitted to imagine for yourself how characters look and sound, and how scenes should be visualized. A movie is someone else's interpretation of the book, and so it will never be as personal. To say that the book is "better" merely because you don't identify with a filmmaker's vision as much as you identify with the author's is rediculous, because in a movie theater you have the luxury of leaving your brain on the seat next to you.

I don't intend to knock movies by saying any of this. Rather, I feel like they ought to get more credit, because despite the lack of mobility they give to the imagination, they can be equally as moving as books. I just get so tired of hearing that they're not as good as the books they're based on.
About this Entry
Apr. 28th, 2005 @ 03:55 pm (no subject)
Although I have been a bit worried about it; I can't wait to see Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy, when it comes out in Australia later thuis week.
It sounds really good, with Tim from The Office playing Authur Dent and an old, very close friend of Douglas Adams co-producing it.
I am hoping it will ive up to the standards set by the book that I, and many other cult Douglas Adams fans love so dearly.:)
About this Entry